I have spent the past three months as mediator and referee for Ryan and Mary. This is the part of parenting that astounds me. Most of the time, I don't get what the problem is. The rest of the time, I'm ready to send all offending parties kicking and screaming to their rooms. Never a dull moment in my house! And Mary...omg, Mary. She has turned into a moody, sippy, mumbling, whiny ball of female! Is this in the handbook?! I suppose that, even at six, I need to realize she's a pre-pubescent ferriswheel of emotion. God, I need to call my mother to apologize for my childhood angst...meh.

Ryan's springtime IEP never took place, leaving him without the "fall facts" as I like to call them. We were supposed to decide upon the "right" fourth grade teacher, along with modifying his plan and accomodations. Unfortunately, his general ed teacher needed to have emergency surgery and was out for the last eight weeks of school. Of course this threw my son into a tizzy, where his inner trauma manifested itself into a scorching bout of kleptomania. Needless to say, I know the school dropped the ball, and I'm going to take the blame for that one. I should've been able to tie Ryan's stealing hands behind his back while wrestling with an incompetent school administration...a mother's work is never done! LOL :)

I am happy to report that I have once again been chosen as Mary's soccer team "Team Mom." It is a position I've held for three seasons, and am always willing to help where needed. I was also asked to help with a shift at the concession stand, something I DON'T want to do, however, I have agreed to suck it up. I need to work on saying "No!" 

On a non-kid related note, I am ready to head back to my classes as well. Today I dropped a few hundred dollars on text books, and found the cutest shoes! Yes, even college moms go back-to-school shopping. I'm looking forward to my final semester as a Delta College student. My classes are mostly literature and communications, with the exception of geology (do I really give a shit about rocks??) and algebra (did I mention I'm a writer??). I will enjoy working with students again this semester in the new Writing Center. Hopefully, I'll make an impact or difference, and that is always a good days work.

Well, I am off to bask in a 12oz. bag of Rolos...Peace out! :)

So I have switched the location of my blog.  Why, a few of you ask?  Because, it has become apparant that a past friendship has broken/ended (whichever you prefer to use).  I know her nature, and it can be a vindictive and vengeful one.  I also know that she is capable of blackmail, should it ever come to that.  Therefore, I would prefer to keep my life away from her.  While I'm smart enough to keep most things that could be used against me out of my blog, this is still an outlet for me and also a way to keep my friends and family updated. 

I walked away from that friendship/relationship before it crashed around me.  Not all were as lucky when it came to her.  I'm glad I did walk away when I did.  In the beginning, I was so guilty about it, feeling that I had abandoned a friend.  But, I realize now that it was a smart idea, and the right one.  I'm glad I did it.  Karma has a way of working things out, and I strongly believe she will get hers.  The way she treats people, her self-righteousness, and self-centeredness will only bring negative energy to her.  Her arrogance is un-earned (not that arrogance is ever right but she has nothing to be arrogant about).  I have a very strong opinion about her, but it is mixed in with the pain of losing a friend and the shock and disbelief that she is not the person I thought she was (or perhaps, has changed for the worse, in my personal opinion).

Onto the next topic to be covered in the realm of heartache of relationships ... I recently got my heart "broken".  Why is this in quotes, you ask?  Because, my feelings were hurt... and it hurt like crazy, but I don't know if I would go far enough to say my heart was broken by him because that would signify there was a deeper connection there and perhaps more feelings than actually existed, or I am willing to admit.  Either way, I put myself out there and took a chance with someone new that I thought would be worth it.  In the end though, it didn't work out.  I will never know why.  He is a coward who chose to stop talking to me, and simply cut off communication.  The last time I saw him, everything was fine and great.  We had a few days where things were back to normal, the texting was consistent along with the contact.  Then all of a sudden, he disappeared.  While there are a thousand excuses, many of which I could come up with to make myself feel better, the reality is that it is over.  I finally caved, and stepped around my own pride, and emailed him.  Basically stating to him that if he was no longer interested, to simply say so.  That he had until this past Monday, and that if he didn't respond, I would simply assume that he was unable to convey that notion.  Basically, I said that if he couldn't respond, then he was a coward... except with better words.  This was after four weeks of absurdity.  Two weeks of him dealing with his insecurity and holding me away with a 10-foot pole, then two week of no communication again.  This isn't something that occurred over a few days and I made my decision.  I gave him plenty of time.

I can't help but think that once again ... I'm not worth it.  This isn't the first time this has happened to me, and I doubt it will be the last.  It's a wound to my pride, my confidence.  More than that though, it hurt so much.  I put myself out there and got hurt ... bad.  After a week of confusion, emotional instability and volatility, I finally moved to a clearer place.  My ultimate goal with this is to move to a place where I am happy that I put myself out there and realize that him and I had good times, but that it simply wasn't meant to be.  That these are his issues of insecurities and cowardice, and not to do with me.  But right now, all I can feel is the pain and while that is all I feel, there is not much forward-thinking I can do.  So be it.  Better to feel and deal with the pain right?

Relationships ... of any type ... can bring so happiness, joy, smiles, laughter, pain, and heartache.  It's all a part of life and the experiences that keep us moving forward, changing us to be a better person, teaching us who we are, allowing us to change the things we don't like.  As much pain as this life can bring, the joy and fun that exists in it as well balances it out and make it worth living.  After all, without the pain, how could we possibly know when the happy and fun times are?

Dyson DC-14 "ANIMAL"

Excuse me while I wipe the drool from my chin. This was an impulse buy 10 years in the making. I've wanted one of these bad boys for longer than I can remember. Probably as long as I've had my own carpet to clean.

Y'all know we recently brought home a Saint Bernard pup, Earthquake. He is lovely. He sheds. A LOT. I needed this vacuum and no I don't mind getting a vacuum for my anniversary, Thank you very much. It was either this or that fancy pants sewing machine. I can wait til Christmas for that... but the dog hair cannot wait.

By the way... that photo above? Yep, that's a 4.5 month old pup and an 8 year old kid. Heh... the dog already outweighs the boy!

Happy Anniversary Hubby! *Muah* I'll vacuum your floors any day!

(Oh, I also got an iPhone... we aren't all practicality around here and who says Diamonds are a girls best friend? I like Apples so much better! Hubby got the Dog... 'Nuff said!)

I wrote this post PRIOR to my kitty getting squashed... notice her in the top photo. She loved to lay on the DVR because it is warm. She also liked to chase things on the TV.  I miss that cat.

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]]> http://alexisthetiny.wordpress.com/?p=617 Wed, 27 Aug 2008 05:31:18 +0000 alexisthetiny http://alexisthetiny.wordpress.com/?p=617 Reading this post and the two before it on AmFam, I cannot help but wonder. Exactly how much impact do out social experiences at school have on us as adults? Does it have any? Or was it as my parents said " It doesn't matter, what matters are your grades."

I have to say, my 11 years spent in local schools here were quite the flop socially. In elementary school, I was picked on for not being able to speak Chinese, I didn't even fit in at church because I couldn't speak Chinese and couldn't play the piano. Oh and I didn't like frilly pink dresses or playing games where  had to say anything in front of a huge group of people. In high school, I got picked on because it wasn't acceptable to know or use the English language properly and speak it with a neutral accent. Seriously, they did that then. I didn't to to an international school because I was sure I wouldn't fit in either. The kids there were much taller (think Taipei American, I was disabused of the notion about 5 years too late) and bigger and looked scary. Plus, I knew that if they had parties, my Christianity crazy parents would definitely not let me go and render me a complete social failure. And in a coutry with a skeevy public transport system, there was no way in hell I'd be able to sneak out after school with friends like I did in Singapore. But I adjusted in college, I did better socially. I'm actually comfortable with people now. But everytime I meet up with someone who resembles one of those 'popular' girls (you know them, they went on to a' branded' high school, to a 'branded' Junior College and then to one of the local universities where they got the choice courses and plus they have daddies who pay for them to have cars, clothes and party until they landed a choice job at a big company. Yeah I've probably alienated a load of people saying this but mind you, I COULD have been one of them, I just chose not to be.) that used to pick on me, my inner bitch comes out and I want to snap back at them just because someone resembling them used to make my life extremely miserable. I think that social experiences as a kid does have some impact. I am an exact opposite of what I was. I can be extremely social, extremely interesting and very funny, its not me, but I know that if I want any shot at being successful socially, I need to do that. I know now that I get to be an entitled princess if my dad offers it to me, I don't like being an entitled princess but to have stuff that other girls get is very very nice. I know that nobody can be socially retarded forever, but even if we do grow out of it, what happens to the nasty bits that stay with us of people trying to hurt us for being different fromt them? Where does it all go? I have sucked every bit of knowedge out of those experiences but at the end of the day, yes it does affect me when I face them at night or in someone I have just met.

What does everyone else think?

I have a very strong maternal instinct, so I played mother hen to my brothers all their lives, and did a lot of the actual raising of the youngest one. I also have children of my own, who are grown, and need Mom a lot less than they once did, though sometimes only the mother will do even now. And there are my granddaughters, whom I love to spoil. That’s ten kids under my belt, and you’d think that would be enough. Not even close.

There’s my husband’s daughters, C who I raised as my own from the ages of 12 to 18, and B who lived with us for two years, whose mother still calls asking me to talk some sense to her, when she’s being a bit of a pill. Of course, through the years I have befriended the children of friends. Several of them still call or email, and often ask for advice about things they’d rather not discuss with Mom or Dad. Mr. W. also has a heart for children, and at our family reunion nieces and nephews surrounded our table. Playing, laughing, talking, and cuddling with them is probably the biggest reason we go every year. Then there are my church children.

I met the “Bears” at my first church, three sweet but trouble little boys, whose home-life was less than wonderful. I taught them in children’s church, and many times they broke my heart with stories about a mother who loved them dearly, but because of a drinking problem allowed them to be exposed to things little boys shouldn’t even know about. We talked often about ways to keep our hearts clean in a world determined to hurt and corrupt us. I saw them a few weeks ago, they’re now young men, strong, beautiful, and with faith we could all learn from.

Another child from that first church, K, waits tables at one of the local restaurants and, though the odds were against her, will graduate early this year. She visits our church quite often, and watching her grow into a lovely young woman has been one of the joys of my life.

The children in our church now live in poverty, many of them in homes most of us wouldn’t consider fit for human habitation. Some of them are physically or mentally abused or worse.

T1 is a young woman with Down’s syndrome. She is married to M, who also has Down’s, and they have two beautiful children the State will not allow them to raise. In Texas one would go to jail for keeping an animal in the conditions in which she lives. If she had been born to educated parents, in the city, instead of a young, uneducated, single mother, in the sticks, people would describe her as a little slow. As it is, she never had a chance.

T2, a sweet little girl, who thinks my hubby is “all that and a bag of butterscotch”, has a great mom and dad. She also goes to the altar every chance she gets to pray for her daddy to join them in church.

H1’s mom wouldn’t be caught dead in a church, but doesn’t mind if her kids go. We’re glad to have them too. She’s a sweetie, and her brother though still a little distant is always respectful and kind. She was sick last week and broken hearted, because she couldn’t go.

H2 is another child who lives in deplorable conditions. With two large chows tied up in the yard, knocking on her door Sunday mornings takes a little courage, but many mornings when we arrive, we find she’s already there. She says she likes the peace and quiet. I watched her face crumble last Sunday when the Pastor was talking about how hard school can be and how cruel other children can be. All I could do was tell her, when it gets tough to remember hubby and I love her.

There are many more, and they each break my heart in their own way. Sometimes the worst part is taking them home. It can be very hard.

The Bible says, “And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward.”  (Matthew 10:42)  But it doesn’t tell one how rewarding it is, right here on earth, to care for the little ones. I can’t even describe the incredible feeling in my heart, when “my” children are near.

They all need to know someone cares what happens to them and loves them.

I can do that.

Revathi has read one of my posts. I can hear so what? Now, this madame is so into blogging and I like the way she writes. When I heard her say that she read one of my posts I just felt like how a non descript artist who occupies a microscopic minority of a frame in a scene would feel when Kamal Haasan tells him that he noticed him in a frame of the scene. Now am i exaggerating? I don't think so...

Word spellings were such a big issue when in school or even in college, but these days: mobiles have T9 and computers have microsoft office. I foresee a scenario where I would forget most spellings. Maybe kids should have sessions on T9 and Microsoft Office updates than on dictations and grammar. (After reading the above paragraph if you find nothing wierd about the words 'issues','sessions','scenario', 'updates' - Take a break, you are too much into work)

Nostalgia... These days I spend around four hours in bus travel and what's strange is I don't sleep during the long journey. When I was a little kid, small enough to be accomodated in the gap between the handle bar and the front seat in my dad's scooter I loved it when we rode on a near empty road. I love the feeling when air hits hard on my face. After a long long time I get to experience that again during these bus rides now that i am not sleeping when I get a seat by the window and the bus wheezes past Tidel Park on the omr. I'd suggest you try this. However please don't stick your head out of the window lest the driver when looking at the rear view mirror might get shocked which might put the safety of your co passengers at stake.

Last week i was home pretty late as usual feeling leave-me-alone tired and drop-on-the-bed worn out. However there's dinner in between and my aunt had made awesome fish. Man there's nothing like good food that can cheer you up after a tiring day.

I successfuly built a prototype using Flex yesterday. Adobe Flex is just awesome. You think of an interaction and Flex helps you build it so easily, but the only thing i am not so comfortable with Flex is its dependability on Flash. I undertand there has to be a compromise but not having to would just be great.

Thanks to Gmail for mobile I am able to get this post into my computer from my mobile. Maybe wordpress should come up with a mobile app or is there one already?

A couple of days ago, I accepted an offer of a deputy editing role for a new business/lifestyle magazine launching in Dubai. With only a few weeks until the launch, they need someone on the ground asap. While I don't have a firm start date yet, it's likely to be in the next fortnight.

So this means GPFreelance will be temporarily winding back operations, but that doesn't mean it'll be winding up. Once I'm settled in and the new mag is bedded in, I'm hoping to have the time to continue a bit of freelance writing while over there.

I hear the desert riding in that part of the world is pretty impressive - I can see a market for a feature on that! With a bit of luck, hopefully I can build on my dirt riding skills acquired at the recent trail skills day (see previous blog post) and hit the dunes around Dubai.

For those who don't know much about Dubai (including myself) - it's the most populated emirate of the seven that make up the United Arab Emirates, and the second largest by territory after Abu Dhabi.

Unlike the other UAE states, Dubai doesn't have a huge reliance on oil revenues, with only 6 percent of its GDP coming from oil and related resources.

An article I just completed for a Dubai-based magazine, The Banker Middle East, gave me the chance to do some research into the region. In the course of my research, I was reminded of some really important (if slightly unsettling) things.

One of these is that the Middle Eastern view of global politics and world leaders isn't necessarily consistent with those of the western world eg. while the west liked Ariel Sharon, many in the Middle East hated him, including many Israelis. The reverse is true for Saddam Hussein - with the exception of Kuwait and probably a number of religious minoirities - apparently he was quite popular in the region.

This confirms that I am totally green when it comes to Middle Eastern politics, but I'm sure I'm not alone in that, being that I'm from an island nestled in the Pacific Ocean, hundreds of thousands of kilometres from the Middle East! That, and the western world is notoriously ignorant that part of the world - all we see are the wars and death tolls - I'm looking forward to seeing what it's really like.

I'll be updating this blog pretty regularly from this point on. I'm sure I'll have heaps of interesting stuff to post up - photos, short blurbs etc.

So when a man in Canada has been arrested for bicycle thievery, pardon me for cheering and getting ready to hurl rocks in his direction. Igor Kenk has now the dubious honor of being one of the world's most prolific bicycle thieves having had 3000 stolen bikes found in his possession. I'm sure its gonna be a real helpful 'About Me' filler on his mySpace or facebook.

In den folgenden zwei Wochen werde ich euch jeden Tag einen filmischen Beweis dafür präsentieren, dass the human race immer schon eine ziemlich miese Mischpoke war, bleibt und daher weiterhin sein wird. Ihr werdet himmelschreiende Ungerechtigkeiten sehen, tränenüberströmt vor mancher Szene kollabieren und euch fragen "Warum?". Und dann: "Warum übersteht auch wasserfeste Mascara keinen Heulkrampf?"

Hiernach werdet ihr ausschwärmen in euren SUVs, mit euren doppelverdienenden Partnern, euren reinrassigen Golden Retrievern, euren Hippbrei reiernden Sprösslingen, werdet aus eurem Carport rasen, dabei die Katze der Nachbarin zersemmeln [upps ...] und in den Horizont brausen, auf dem Weg die Welt zu verändern, damit es solche Bilder, wie ich sie euch zeigen werde, niemals mehr auf apple.com/trailers oder YouTube zu sehen gibt.

Ihr seid das Morgen [obwohl mancher arg nach Gestern ... Na ja, egal, wir können nicht wählerisch sein!], aber nur wenn ihr es rettet, werdet ihr's erleben. Nun ruht euch noch aus, öffnet dem Pizzabringdienst und kopuliert grunzend mit euren Lebensabschnittsgefährten. Ihr werdet die nächsten zwei Wochen LANG jedes Quäntchen Kraft brauchen. Möge das Gute [oder wenigstens nicht ganz so Böse] siegen.

Obama, äh, Amen aka Cheers!

Und nun der erste Lehrfilm. Kindchen, fahr' ab:

No.44.

Canon EOS Kiss, Somewhere in Penang.

***

I've been away again.

Way to go, Captain Obvious (one of my students loves this line).

But as I sit here on this (blank) Tuesday morning (I don't have a window in this cell so I'm left guessing the state of the weather outside) with five chapters of my thesis handed in (BIG HURRAH!) and God-knows how many words written, I am experiencing an odd moment of stillness that befuddles me.

I like it, but I don't. I'm bored of it already, but I also know I'll be caught up in a mad flurry of something-or-other again soon. I'm tired of standing still, but at the same time feeling the wind created by something other than me (and I am not refering to flatulence here, mind you) is great.

Seems like I've been in limbo for the longest time.

***

Since I've been so terrigibly vague lately, with the BlogStalker and all, here are some ('real life') updates.

I discovered that we have an online branch of like the CIA, wooo~. It's called CyberSecurity Malaysia and I suspect they track the IP addresses of whoever goes to their site (you pandai-pandai cari yourself la ok) or types them in a search engine. Their job scope is very vague (even more so than me!) but ah well. I'm guessing these were the folks behind all the blog arrests, and YouTube posts, etc. If they're reading this...hello, CyberSecurity Malaysia people! Please do not investigate me, I lead a fairly boring and clean life.

Four Dahlings are reunited in the turf of SJ, which makes for fun times...but not overly, as this Dahling is often stuck in Uni from 7:30am (yah shut up I told you I'm boring) till about 5pm...or 9:30pm, depending on what mood I'm in and what day it is, and how freaked out I am about work. One more Dahling is going to Singapore soon to be reunited with her ManFriend, yet another one is going for job interviews and one more is flying back to the UK in a little over a week. BOO.

Oh! AirAsiaX has finally listened to my fervent prayers and decided to bloody fly to Melbourne already! This came a day after I was mooching over my Angel Cards and asking about Australia, and the cards Ask came out for the Present, and There's Nothing to Worry About for the Future. So I asked, and I received :) I got a return ticket for RM1,500. Sweet as! I'm leaving November 22nd and back January 21st. Now, I really really really want to be able to find a job I love there in those two short months so I can come back to SJ and grab more stuff (i.e. clothes and shoes) and relocate there to be with my own ManFriend! C'mon folks, visualise with me...

I am trulymadlydeeply obsessed with thrifted and vintage stuff lately. I love. And it seems to be all the rage now too! Awesome finds lately have been old 80's chiffon hairclips that I've been wearing out at night as a hairpiece, which had a Dahling gushing that it looked soooo GossipGirl. *beams* Oh and my heeled brogues, bought for a happy-clappy RM29 from Bata. I kid you not. And I can bloody run in them too, they're that comfortable.

I work alone nowadays. I'm not a big fan of major drama (though small dramas can be fun) but this recent bout of it has left me completely thrown. Consequently, I am in hiding. Sort of. Yeah, I know, back to being vague again.

***

Ooh! Celebrate Merdeka with a difference this year.

Come to Central Market this weekend and find out for yourselves!

OK I'm running out of things to be vague about and I need to go return my Cockburn book. Haha no, seriously, I kid you not. She's a famousish feminist theorist dealing with ICT and gender.

There have been a couple of moments that have tugged at my heartstrings; but nothing that's made me shed a dreaded tear. Of course all of those moments had to do with my favorite "little people".

Let me backtrack a minute. There were tears when saying good-bye; but only with Mom and Dad. We were a bunch of cryin' fools and Dad's way of saying good-bye was to call me a jackass....and I don't think he was kidding when he said it! It has been added to my list of favorite all-time quotes!

The other moments have been because it can be difficult for Braeden, Kennedy, and Will to grasp the idea that I've moved and trying to figure out how long I'll be gone. Heck, I don't even know how long it will be! But quite a few conversations have included the questions "How long will you be gone", "When are you coming home?", or the statement "yeah, but you'll be here for my birthday, right". Those are the tough ones! A few weeks ago Brae asked me how many more days until I come home. It's hard because last summer we were able to do a countdown for how long I'd be gone. Of course when Brae asked me this, Kennedy told him it wouldn't be very long because I'd be home for her birthday in October! I told Brae it wouldn't be until Christmas and he informed me that that was so far away...believe me, bud, I know!

I had my first "moment" less than three weeks into the trip. Mom told me that when someone walked through the door at Ted and Tanya's, Will thought it was me! When Tanya explained that I didn't live there anymore, he said that I had to. I called Tanya shortly after that and talked to Will. Here's a brief rundown of the conversation:

Me: Hey, Will! How are you?

Will: You not live here anymore?

Me: No, I live somewhere else now.

Will: You come here tomorrow?

Seriously.....I love these kids! That is going to be the hardest part in this long distance thing. I know from personal experience that you can have a close relationship with an aunt or an uncle that lives across the country (next post will be about my time with Uncle Don & Aunt Susie this weekend); but that doesn't mean I'm not going to miss the almost daily interactions with Will, the sleepovers with Brae and Kennedy, or watching their school programs or ball games.

One thing that is helping is the video conferencing. I swear it's a crapshoot whether it will work or not each time we try, but Brian and I have had it working smoothly a few times. Hopefully we're good to go now. Technology is great I tell you. Last night, Uncle Don, Aunt Susie and I all talked to Mom, Dad, Brian, DeShawn, Lanae and the kids on a video call! First thing Braeden said was "Look at my hair"....dude's sporting a mohawk!! Couple minutes later he's shoving his foot by the camera to show me a cut!! Kennedy was still recovering from having her tonsils taken out Thursday. In the seconds it took me to respond to her after she called my name, I think she fell asleep on Mom's lap! Everyone said she's been a real trooper and handling the recovery extremely well. I knew she was a tough little cookie. It was cool talking to the whole family at once. The best part is that with it being free, it fits very nicely into my budget.

Well it's time for me to sign off. I'm on the train heading back to Portland and need to stretch my legs a bit. Take care and be well.

Äratus oli kell 8, mis tähendas, et ma pidin Sitaks Vara üles tõusma. Varem igatahes, kui ma harjunud olen. Ja just täna oli mul üle pika aja magus uni (kuigi tõenäoliselt siiski selle varase ärkamise pärast). Kell 10 olin koolis.

Sakk rääkis meile koolist, selle ajaloost, tulevikust (or lack thereof, sest riigieelarve ägeduse tõttu ei saa meie maja nii pea hakata ehitatama) ja üldse sellest, kui palju ägedam on gd osakond teistest osakondadest. Tema sõnad, mitte minu. Pikk pidu jäi ära (näiteks selline pidu, kus inimesed käivad koolimajas ringi ja TUTVUVAD klassiruumidega, mida mul õnnestus pisikese WC tripi jooksul näha) ja kohe võttis otsad üle gd-er Inglismaalt, jagades pikema jututa kätte meie esimese ülesande. Olgu etterutates öeldud, et workshop viidi läbi koos teise kursusega. So. Minul targa peaga oli arvuti koju aknalauale jäetud, nii et pidin käputäie teiste tarkpeadega arvutiklassi ronima. Arvutid selles ruumis olid lükatud aga kuhugi kaugesse klassinurka, seega võtsid Igor ja Kaspars (too muhe läti poiss, kes nii muuseas ütles "by the way I'm Kaspars, from Latvia!" ja kellega mul automaatselt meenus Madli) nõuks arvutid laudadele vinnata ja ära ühendada. Ahsoo jah, ülesandeks oli teha plakat antud informatsiooni põhjal, ehk mõned read ilmaennustust inglise keeles paigutada rütmilisse ja harmoonilisse koosseisu. Seda tegime nii muhedalt kella kolmeni (endale meelespeaks, et järgmine kord võta kaasa õun, prillid ja arvuti), mille jooksul sai kõvasti paberit ja tinti raisatud, et lõpuks selle rahuldava tulemuseni jõuda. Lõpuks suskasime paberid teise ruumi lauale ja rääkisime oma tagamõtetest või, kui neid polnud, siis võis lihtsalt suurt mulli ajada, such as "I love rain, so that's why it's emphasized in the middle". Otsade kokkutõmbamiseks riputasime šedöövrid seinale ja itsitasime habemesse. Ja läksime minema.

Tundsin, et üle pika aja olen väsinud ja näljane ja kõht võttis ammu juba üles Celine Dioni väärilised toonid. Kuna S oli varem maininud, et pärast 3 on ta vaba, siis tirisin traati ning läksime võtsime double coffees ühed latted. Miski kahtlane oopiumirikas õhk oli, sest me naersime enamiku aja joovastunult oma kohvitassi.

An article regarding parents who are having problems buying school supplies:
"I am shocked that the right wing conservative crowd is not on here yet telling poor folks to just pull themselves up by their bootstraps. I'll bet it's coming."

Why do we have to make this a conservative vs. liberal issue? Plain and simple, there are families who simply can't afford it.  I think that in our current economy, everyone feels the pinch and realizes how tight it is for some people.  An article that attempts to make readers aware of the issues some families face is not the place to jab at conservatives or liberals.

42 people found in under-construction home after God told pastor to take them there, 8 looking at possible deportation:

"Funny how this god character is responsible for so much stuff, and no one has yet to see him. What a sorry cop-out for all the losers of the world. I would bring him up on charges of trespassing, harboring illegals, for all we know they could have been planning a terrorist attack? I think put the ol reverend in a padded room and deport the rest. Do it fast so our tax dollars dont get milked out for 2 years. Funny how religion is an excuse to do wrong in some cultures."

Was the pastor and his followers wrong?  Most definitely.  If 8 were here illegally, that needs to be dealt with, but there were many comments on this article stating that all 42 should be deported, even those here legally.  And to suggest they be charged with planning a terrorist attack????

The effects of poverty on children and ADHD:

"suppose I'm just kinda "speechless" here...I want to "JUDGE" a bit, BUT, I'M REALLY HOLDING BACK HERE!! :) I COMPLETELY understand "HARDSHIP" & all.. ;), BUT...??!! & WTF?!!!
.
THIS I WILL COMMENT ON!! :)....In ALL here, I suppose I learned that you can collect SS....on "a child w/ ADHD"??!! (lol! :) Whose child isn't NOWADAYS!! THAT'S just unbelieveable!! (..NOT really!!)...It's NO WONDER "why?" I'll NEVER be able to retire..."MY" SS will BE GONE!!!"

First, you don't need to read this comment to be offended!  The only thing worse than all caps is caps every few words.  Am I the only one who reads inflection on the internet?  I have a headache from this one!  Second, I haven't heard of a child with ADHD receiving SSI benefits. 

These are just a few comments I pulled while reading today.  Every day there are comments like this.  And I no longer visit any news forums because they're even worse.  Where can a girl go to get good, intelligent conversation about current events???

Its been so long I forgot I had a blog. Seriously.

The girlfriend came back for a few months, we had the most fun we've ever had together. For those three odd months, I felt complete, content, and generally happy all around. I know I had a glow around me, others told me so too. After a long day out, I'd still smile as I drove home.

This morning the girlfriend left, and I greatly regret not being able to go to see her off. Blame circumstances out of our control I suppose. We've done these goodbyes four times now, but you never really get used to it. You deal with it in your own way, for me, it's by distracting myself with work, and not talking about it with anyone.

I'd like to share the following piece I wrote 4 years ago, a week or so before she'd actually left then. It was the first time around we had to part, and I felt extremely emotional then. My old blog has been archived on the wayback machine, at this link, http://web.archive.org/web/20060507103907/izuansworld.blog-city.com/at_the_airport.htm, but instead I'll copy it all and paste here. To my readers, enjoy.

“Goodbye then.”, was all she said. Did she need to say more to him?

Could she even say more? She tried, but struggled to utter a few more parting words to him. The gentle tears that were cascading down her cheeks stopped her. Too strong were her emotions at that point, that those tears gushing out said more than she ever could to him.

She wasn’t the only one crying there. Her friends were there, relatives, parents, siblings, and he came along as well.

They all came to see her go off.

In her mind were worries and uncertainties about the new land on which she would soon touchdown upon in a fifteen more hours.

Upon leaving the country in which she grew up in and had so many fond memories, she realized what she had just left behind. The school where she had performed on stage, the moments she spent with a guy that loved her, the talks she had with her mother, the times behind the wheel of her car, and so much more.

All in the past, all to be left behind.

As she began to reminiscent further, she realized how daunting this new voyage in her life will be. She realized that from now on, she will be alone. Physically alone of course, as those that really do care for her and the people that she cares for in return are far away back in her homeland.

It’s gonna be a long stay abroad, she realized.

She’s gonna have to make new friends over there, and grow up fast. She’ll be on her on; the people that she relies on right no, Mummy and daddy, aren’t going to be there with her. She’ll have to look out for herself.

Daunting it may seem, but then she remembers that no matter how long she is away from her family, they’ll always love and care for her just as much as they did when they set their eyes on her 18 years ago on the 20^th of may.

And there was always that guy of hers. While her parents love may be of the unconditional sort, the love and compassion he gave her was the kind that took time to blossom. Over the months that he had spent with her, he had realized how much she actually means to him, as a friend and companion. He began to appreciate every second that she spent with him, and thanked her at every moment he could.

He loved her because of how she treated him, cared for him, and made him feel whenever they both spoke.

While she may have had some doubts, she hoped that their love and care for each other will strengthen their bond, even with the distance that separates them.

She had but a minute to reminiscent, until which a voice over the speakers announced that her flight will depart soon, and she’ll have to board her plane.

Life’s a stage, and we all play the protagonist in ours. But for her, it’s gonna be a new stage, with new sets and characters. New challenges, new experiences.

She picked up her bags, and tried walking to her departure gate. She tried, but couldn’t. The emotions at that point, they were far too heavy for her, to strong. She had to see them all again, for one last time.

She took a long hard look at all of them. They were waving at her, whilst some were weeping their hearts out.

She knew that she couldn’t turn back now. It was already too late. She had to go.

It was time for her to grow up, and accept that fact. There was no point in crying now, as it won’t help.

She waved goodbye to them for one last time, and picked up her bags. As she did that, he came running up to her.

“Wait”, he said, panting and gasping for a breath. She could see in his deep set eyes that he had been weeping; the redness around them was a dead-giveaway. T’was then that she had realized the genuineness of all the caring he had given her.

“Once you touchdown, I want you to open this up and read it”, he said, with a withered voice, trying to calm himself down, pausing in between sentences to wipe his tears. He passed her a small note, and she took it amiably.

So there they were, the two lovers, staring at each other for one last time. He knew that she’ll be back in a couple of months, but gone were the days when they used to see each other every day. There she stood, thinking the same thing.

They gazed into each others’ eyes, and could feel the emotions they both shared. They felt their love for each other at that moment.

Goodbyes had always been hard for the both of them, but neither could do anything about it this time. She had to go. She had to say goodbye.

They shook hands, as they couldn’t hug there. They felt the warmth of each other’s hands for one last time.
Her bags were heavy, her flight was leaving.

She made the last few steps to the departure gate on her own, without looking back. She couldn’t do that; she couldn’t stand to see the look on their faces. She couldn’t stay much longer.

She boarded the plane, and in doing so, closed a chapter in her life, and started a new one.

Reading that all makes me wanna tear again.

Liyana, I love you.

They are every useful - the lockers not the boys - however, they do need the occasional purging and cleaning. Because what happens is, when I ask the boys to help pick up the house, they shove everything in their lockers. Not a bad idea in theory but the execution soon becomes a problem as the lockers begin to overflow.

The other day as I sat looking at their lockers and the amount of "stuff" that was in them, I decided it was time for them to be freed from some of their content. When I asked our oldest, M, to start with his, he replied, "Oh, I don't need to. I have a self-cleaning locker."

Oh, yeah! Well, somebody sign me up for the self-cleaning house, because I like the sound of that.